I’ve long had the capacity to make myself laugh and although some may see it as a sign of madness, I see it as an amazing bonus that brightens up the dreariest of days.
Random words amuse me. I can be sitting on the bus and think of a word such as “flange” or “petard” maybe and a little smile crosses my face. There’s so much to see around you that will just lift your spirits. One glimpse of the name of the international haulage company, Norbert Desstrangle and I’m more than happy. That must be the best name ever. Surely that’s only been painted onto the side of lorries to make us all happy? It can’t be a real name.
I have those days when amusing things take my fancy. There are days when everywhere I look I see the most hilarious teeth. Over bleached white full sets of perfect teeth make me want to giggle at their hideous absurdity. I especially love those teeth that make the bearer of them look like a vicar from a 1970s sit-com or like they’re breaking in a set of dentures for a horse. I absolutely love a set of protruding teeth. As for an orange fake tan or a lady mullet: I’m uncontrollable if I see a bad one.
Young people make me laugh. I love their youthful swagger and their absurd clothing trends. I love to see them limping through snow and ice in inappropriate grimy canvas shoes, trying manfully to keep their trousers from falling from pre-buttock level to ankle level. I love a crazy hairstyle too. Those young boys who have dramatically swept over partings glued into place, looking like trainee talent show singing contestants, always amuse me. Goths make me laugh with their ultra serious posturing which must be so hard to maintain.
Posh people make me titter. I love a snooty lady who lunches with her ridiculous garb and dismissive attitudes. Old people make me laugh with their crotchety ways and their multiple layers of clothing. Really rough women make me laugh with their bad dye jobs and scraped back hair. Everyone makes me laugh.
I often got asked to leave classes at school because of uncontrolled giggling. Friends took advantage of my tendency to be unable to stop laughing and would pass me notes, flash comical pictures at me or whisper one word. It didn’t take much. My parents’ anger always made me laugh and often earned me extra punishment. People who are angry make me roar with laughter. I don’t know if it’s a nervous reaction or just the fact that they look so ridiculous. Public occasions make me chortle. I’ve tittered my way through prize giving speeches, weddings, funerals, lectures, plays and job interviews.
The fact that Michael Jackson existed makes me howl. Who could have made that one up? Too ridiculous for words. The eighties make me laugh. How could that hideous decade of bad taste ever have existed? Songs make me laugh. I cry with laughter at “Up, Up and Away in My Beautiful Balloon”. The name Englebert Humperdinck makes me laugh as does the fact that Princess Anne belonged to his fan club, the Humperdinckers. Princess Anne makes me laugh. I only have to think of her wedding photos to raise a smile.
I know it’s cruel to laugh at others but all I can say is that I take my greatest amusement in myself. I never laugh so much as at my own mishaps. I laugh when I get on escalators the wrong way, stumble up steps, make malapropisms or spoonerisms. I laugh at my own image in shop windows. My own face amuses me endlessly. I have such a comical nose. I’m not elitist about who I laugh at in the slightest.
Ask me on a black day though. If my mood is bad and I’m wearing my brown tinted spectacles then it’s quite the opposite. I’ll tell you about the tragedy and pain I see in everything. Fortunately today isn’t one of those days. I’ll embrace the fact that today is a laughing day. If you hear an annoying tittering in the background it’s probably me.